Words of Comfort: Full Stature of His Spirit

"Would we be satisfied to see the children we bury in their infancy remain as children only, throughout the countless ages of eternity? No! Neither would the spirits that did possess the tabernacles of our children be satisfied to remain in that condition. But we know our children will not be compelled to remain as a child in stature always, for it was revealed from God, the fountain of truth, through Joseph Smith the prophet, in this dispensation, that in the resurrection of the dead the child that was buried in its infancy will come up in the form of the child that it was when it was laid down; then it will begin to develop. From the day of the resurrection, the body will develop until it reaches the full measure of the stature of its spirit, whether it be male or female. If the spirit possessed the intelligence of God and the aspirations of mortal souls, it could not be satisfied with anything less than this. You will remember we are told that the spirit of Jesus Christ visited one of the ancient prophets and revealed himself to him, and he declared his identity, that he was the same Son of God that was to come in the meridian of time. He said he would appear in the flesh just as he appeared to that prophet [see Ether 3:9, 16–17]. He was not an infant; he was a grown, developed spirit; possessing the form of man and the form of God, the same form as when he came and took upon him a tabernacle and developed it to the full stature of his spirit."

(Gospel Doctrine, 24.)
~"Chapter 15: The Salvation of Little Children," Teachings of Presidents of the Church: JosephF. Smith, (1998)

Words of Comfort: The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh

"With these thoughts in my mind, I take consolation in the fact that I shall meet my children who have passed behind the veil; I have lost a number, and I have felt all that a parent can feel, I think, in the loss of my children. I have felt it keenly, for I love children, and I am particularly fond of the little ones, but I feel thankful to God for the knowledge of these principles, because now I have every confidence in his word and in his promise that I will possess in the future all that belongs to me, and my joy will be full. I will not be deprived of any privilege or any blessing that I am worthy of and that may be properly entrusted to me. But every gift, and every blessing that it is possible for me to become worthy of I shall possess, either in time or in eternity, and it will not matter, so that I acknowledge the hand of God in all these things, and say in my heart, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord” [see Job 1:21]. This is the way we should feel with regard to our children, or our relatives, or friends, or whatever vicissitudes we may be called to pass through."

~Joseph F. Smith

(Gospel Doctrine, 24.)

Words of Comfort: All That Could Have Been Obtained and Enjoyed... Will be Provided for Them Hereafter

"Our beloved friends who are now deprived of their little one, have great cause for joy and rejoicing, even in the midst of the deep sorrow that they feel at the loss of their little one for a time. They know he is all right; they have the assurance that their little one has passed away without sin. Such children are in the bosom of the Father. They will inherit their glory and their exaltation, and they will not be deprived of the blessings that belong to them; for, in the economy of heaven, and in the wisdom of the Father, who doeth all things well, those who are cut down as little children are without any responsibility for their taking off, they, themselves, not having the intelligence and wisdom to take care of themselves and to understand the laws of life; and, in the wisdom and mercy and economy of God our Heavenly Father, all that could have been obtained and enjoyed by them if they had been permitted to live in the flesh will be provided for them hereafter. They will lose nothing by being taken away from us in this way."

~Joseph F. Smith

(Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. (1939), 452–54.)

Words of Comfort: Gathered to my Father's Mansion

Although President Joseph F. Smith knew firsthand the anguish, loneliness, and love that attend the death of a child, his teachings on the salvation of little children were inspiring and reassuring. Between 1869 and 1898, he buried nine little children of his own. ...

But he found comfort in the knowledge that, through the Atonement of the Savior, all was well with his beloved children. At the death of his daughter Ruth, on 17 March 1898, he received a glorious revelation: “O my soul! I see my own sweet mother’s arms extended welcoming to her embrace the ransomed glorious spirit of my own sweet babe! O my God! For this glorious vision, I thank Thee! And there too are gathered to my Father’s mansion all my darling lovely ones; not in infantile helplessness, but in all the power and glory and majesty of sanctified spirits! Full of intelligence, of joy and grace, and truth.”(Life of Joseph F. Smith, 463.)

("Chapter 15: The Salvation of Little Children," Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith, [1998])

Words of Comfort: A Greater and More Glorious Work

"The spirits of the just are exalted to a greater and more glorious work; hence they are blessed in their departure to the world of spirits."

~Joseph Smith

(History of the Church, 6:51–52; from a discourse given by Joseph Smith on Oct. 9, 1843, in Nauvoo, Illinois; reported by Willard Richards and Times and Seasons, Sept. 15, 1843, p. 331; this issue of the Times and Seasons was published late.)

Words of Comfort: I Shall See Them Again

On January 20, 1840, Joseph Smith wrote to Emma Smith: “I received a letter from Hyrum, which cheered my heart to learn that my family was all alive. Yet my heart mourns for those who have been taken from us, but not without hope, for I shall see them again and be with them. Therefore, we can be more reconciled to the dealings of God."

(Letter from Joseph Smith to Emma Smith, Jan. 20, 1840, Chester County, Pennsylvania; Chicago Historical Society, Chicago, Illinois.)

Words of Comfort: Reconciled to His Will

"It has been hard for me to live on earth and see these young men upon whom we have leaned for support and comfort taken from us in the midst of their youth. Yes, it has been hard to be reconciled to these things. I have sometimes thought that I should have felt more reconciled to have been called away myself if it had been the will of God; yet I know we ought to be still and know it is of God, and be reconciled to His will; all is right. It will be but a short time before we shall all in like manner be called: it may be the case with me as well as you."

~Joseph Smith

(History of the Church, 4:587; from a discourse given by Joseph Smith on Apr. 9, 1842, in Nauvoo, Illinois; reported by Wilford Woodruff.)

One of the things I love most about what Joseph Smith said is how he addresses the feelings of those who are left behind when somebody passes away. It is hard to be reconciled to these kinds of things, and it's kind of nice to have prophetic validation for what we are feeling. But the important part of this message is that we need to "be still and know it is of God, and be reconciled to His will." It is normal and natural to feel pain at the loss of a child, but I know from personal experience that if we truly humble ourselves and ask God for understanding, we can receive some. I don't think that at any time in this life I will understand completely why Riley's time on earth was so short. But I have received divine confirmation that this was indeed part of Heavenly Father's plan for our son and for our family. This knowledge helped me accept that "all is right."

I think that one of the most important things I have learned since Riley passed away is how to truly be reconciled to God's will. It is so easy to say that we will follow His will when we live righteously and want good things, and we get them. The test of our faith, and our willingness to submit to God comes when we are doing everything we are supposed to, but things don't happen the way we expect or want them to. But if we really are humble and ask God, we can know if something is His will, and we can learn to not only accept it, but embrace it. Of course part of me wishes that Riley were still here, that we could have had a normal family and a normal life. But that was not part of Heavenly Father's plan for us. For whatever reason, we were chosen to be the parents of a spirit whose earthly mission was very short. Yes, it is still difficult, but we have been blessed in so many ways. Our testimonies have been strengthened, our faith has increased, our relationships with each other and with God are so much stronger, and we have our beautiful baby girl. I know that Bekka would not have come when she did if Riley were still here. I am sure that one day I will know why Bekka needed to come when she did, and why Riley needed to go home when he did. But for now, it is enough to trust in the Lord and be reconciled to His will.